Responses to Depression

Sometimes we don't know what to say. We aren't you and don't know all the details. Much less know why. We just want to encourage and instead fumble with our words trying to help. Sometimes we minimize because we don’t realize your pain. Often we are in our own thoughts and don’t know to ask do you want to talk?

 

Expectations can be a challenge as well. Families and we expect near perfection from ourselves. No one is perfect. Failures and how we overcome them is how we learn. Forgive yourself for being human. Tomorrow is always another day. (note I can screw tomorrow up a different way LOL.)

 

Sometimes a break from constant news helps. TV news like to replay the same videos to shock and get ratings. Bad news becomes overwhelming if you don’t limit it. Frankly did not miss it except for breaking stories. But I only listen for facts and turn it off shortly.

 

If is only the blues, well that is good. We all need to feel what we are feeling. Know my days do not stay positive despite my efforts either.

 

If you have been depressed for more than a couple weeks, it is time to get counseling and medication. Friends tell me how much better they under treatment. Stats show both together work completely over 85%. If not complete, still better to try.

 

Suicidal thoughts are another category. They can persist and overwhelm. Text CONNECT to 741741 to reach a Crisis Counselor. Call 800-273-8255 Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, for free and confidential support. AFSP.ORG is a good resource among others. No matter how strong or weak, we all need support at times. Act now! My sister attempted suicide when young. A few years later and many times since she says, “I am so glad I failed!”

 

The world is a difficult place, it is not fair, and justice takes its sweet time. But we know God loves us unconditionally and relentlessly. Hard to remember when we are sick or injured some days, but His love is true.

 

Life isn't always a grind. Celebrating milestones and laughing with family, friends and coworker is wonderful. Life is measured by events over decades, not today’s pains.

 

PS Know you are loved.

Developing Soft Skills

Businesses love to talk about the best leaders have soft skills. In short they work well with people to get the most out of their teams. They are often very respected and productive workers as well.

Starting out, how do you get soft skills? Where does this reputation come from? What soft skills would you like to have?

First, most people’s reactions are not about you. They think about what affects them. So do you, but you don’t think about that. When someone is losing their cool in front of you, wait until they calm down enough to talk with. Then ask questions.

The person who listens more attentively learns the most. Don’t think about what to say next when someone else is talking. What are they saying, and what is behind it? Often the most important part of the message is not said. It comes through their attitude and phasing. Ask questions about what they are saying to keep them talking.

Was very shy as a young man. Talking with young women threw me. I literally had to practice talking with people. To be less nervous, would talk with people who I did not know and could probably not help me. Often would talk with any woman of any age about any topic. When I met attractive women of datable ages, was no longer tongue-tied.

If you really want to excel with soft skills, CARE about people around you. Get your own ego out of the way. You can learn something from everyone, and you can help more people than you think. Praise people every time you see something you like. “They won’t remember what you said. They won’t forget how you made them feel.”

Study Servant Leadership. John Maxwell is my favorite author on this subject. Leaders aren’t there to make every decision. They enable their teammates to do more tasks better, and even excel at them.

I care about your success. Otherwise would I spend the time to write this? Start trying to listen to and praise people now. Does not matter how awkward it feels at first. You will start making their day and your day.

“If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles, you would not be able to sit down for six months.” - Unknown

People Don’t Succeed by Complaining

It is amazing how many people complain. Way past traffic or the weather. What else is driving them crazy today? Everything and Everyone.

Thing is I don’t see successful people complain. They talk about what is bothering them. Then talk about potential solutions or see if you have any ideas.

Yes I complain at times. Then I catch myself, or get tired of hearing myself. I don’t even want to listen to myself complain.

It is too easy to justify how I want to get it off my chest. But does it help you if I complain? Why should I burden you with my problems?

Our purpose in life is not to be right. Not to be perfect. We are here to help others.

Rather ask how you are doing and listen.