American Suicide Madness

Dedicated to Tyler Hilinski, the Junior Washington State quarterback who committed suicide. Prayers and sympathy to his family, friends and fans. Same prayers and sympathy for all those who lost a loved one from this same disease.

No I don’t know Tyler, and have no idea why a successful, popular young man thinks something is so horrible he can’t recover from it. Don’t know if it was a relationship, illness, social media, bullies, public embarrassment, being a burden, or afraid of the future. Fear is a powerful motivation.

He is not alone, nor is it a young man’s disease. Per AFPS.org Middle age men 45-54 have the highest suicide rate, followed by senior men over 85. Nor are they alone, 44,965 people die every year. For every death, there are 25 attempts. More men die, and more women try to die. The rate has been increasing over the last 10 years.

Nor is suicide the only symptom in our society. Drug addiction and overdoses are rising. Over 600,000 people died of overdoses, and the rate has been increasing for 16 years per the CDC. No one know how many overdoses are suicides versus accidental if they don’t leave a note.

Most people who try suicide really don’t want to die. Reports from Golden Gate jumpers have reactions like “I made a mistake” and “I want to live.” These people wanted someone to talk about their problems, to know problems could be fixed, or to just feel love or understanding.

Treatments of metal health issues are not working. Not enough people are identified soon enough. If someone wants treatment, there are not enough beds. The stigma of admitting you have a problem stops people from asking for help. Michael Phelps the gold medal swimmer contemplated suicide after the 2012 Olympics and his 2014 DUI arrest due to depression and anxiety. Fortunately he got help and is now speaking out to others to get help.

What can we do? Pay attention when someone changes his or her behavior drastically. Don’t be afraid to bring it up. Remind them we all have bad days and trials in our lives. Have had to overcome bad years, bad business decisions, and bad relationships in my life. Am not alone.

The main thing people in stress do is focus on their problems. Thinking about the people who care about us, respect us and love us are the antidote to issues. Spend time helping someone. Play with children in your life. Smile and greet people even when you don’t feel like it. Acting as if you are well is often a great step forward.

We have to look out for our outlook on life, and we have to look out for family, friends, co-workers and loved ones with challenges. Let them know you care. Remind them daily. And if they are still struggling, get them to professional help. Therapy with medication is successful 9 out of 10 times getting people healthy.  If the first therapist doesn’t fit with you, try another until you succeed. Do what you can where you are. And know we love you.

Fear and Decisions

Have you been talking with someone who is angry and not making sense? Their decision process is all emotion, and they are full of emotion. They could be angry with your company, angry at someone else, or angry with you.

How about when someone does not want to make a decision. They talk about the issue. They ask advice. They express opinions. But they definitely don’t want to commit. Not now.

What drives this behavior is simple. They are afraid. Afraid of making the wrong decision, afraid of failing, afraid of paying too much, afraid of losing, afraid of change, afraid of success, or afraid of anything.

We are just like these people under pressure. I fear making the wrong decision. I don’t want to lose. We are flawed. Our knowledge has gaps and bad information.

Take a deep breathe. Ask for more time (few things need the answer now). Set an appropriate deadline.

How important is your decision? If you are at a restaurant, most things on the menu will taste good. Likely it is not life or death, and if it is you have to rely on your training.

Second, be human. None of us is perfect. Start taking some action. Revise the question. Define the problem better. What are your constraints? Can we bypass one? Are there more options? There is always another way.

Most good decisions come from choosing with what you know. Not waiting for more information.

“Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is timing. It waits on the right time to act." -- Fulton J. Sheen

Are You Stuck with Negativity?

Of course you are not stuck. Interesting how many people believe in future disasters are coming and we can’t prevent them.

How about 1970’s ‘The Population Bomb’ predicting mass starvation in the next decade and a half? Four decades later we are fatter, population growth is down substantially, life spans are growing, and less land is used farming. Farmers have become more efficient, more automated and food quantity and quality are better than ever.

These Earth Day predictions from 1970 never came true

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2016/04/22/these-earth-day-predictions-from-1970-never-came-true.html?intcmp=trending

So what do you believe that will happen to destroy the earth? Why do you believe that doom and gloom? Is it possible the experts are wrong? Of course it is. Am an expert and often find myself off in my predictions.

Why are predictions so bad? There is much we don’t know, and new technologies or discoveries improve life. Exaggerated extrapolation of recent trends leads us to believe (in much more of the same). Hate to tell end of the world gurus, the secret is people do change behaviors to improve lives. Humans are amazingly resilient, capable and creative.

Look at is another way. What has been discovered in the last 50 years?

·      Cell phones that do everything

·      Self driving cars

·      Quarks

·      DNA & Stem cells

·      Cancer treatments

·      More stars and planets

·      Oil supplies from depleted wells

·      Most cities have less air pollution

Preparing for disasters is a smart course of action. Carrying insurance is a wise financial investment. But living life afraid of the future? Not a good idea.

Advice for Parisians and Other Targets of Terror

Have experience with Centennial Park Bombing during the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. Was a spectator and was enjoying the park after midnight. There was a band across the street talked my friends into going over to see. They weren’t very good/interesting, and I was feeling restless. Felt like it was time to go. Really wanted to go and didn’t know why. We left to get food.

Took a half hour to go through traffic to a bar/restaurant to get food/drink, but they were shutting down. Why? Someone had blown up a bomb in Centennial Park. 2 deaths and 111 injured that night. Walked within 50 feet of where the bomb exploded.

How did we handle it? The Olympics Committee decided the games should continue. The park was closed for one day and reopened the second day. Went out of my way to be sure to walk through the park again the morning it opened. Not going to let someone keep me from living.

Terrorist want two things: Fear and government overreaction. They believe fear gives them power over you. Your government wants to protect you, but extreme invasive procedures can lead to government being overthrown. Power and no authority to stop them is the dream of terrorist/radicals.

The odds of being in a terror attack or violent events are very small in Western Civilization. Actually most countries are reasonably safe. War has actually been decreasing during the last 50 years. 

The best way to honor the victims and flaunt the terrorist is to simply live life without fear. Then terrorist have no power.