10 ‘Life is Hard’ Truths

You can have a good, enjoyable life. Even though life is hard we smile. Here are hard earned truths about life after 60 years of trials & errors.

1. Relationships & love are more important than wealth and fame:

Family and friends have helped me though job losses, bankruptcy, relocations, illnesses, grief, and breakups. Plus celebrated my successes. Be Kind. Listen when someone is having a bad day. (You don’t need to solve it.) Celebrate their successes. Eat together even if vegan. Have stopped at McDonald’s later, and enjoyed strange new meals with friends.

2. Help Others, Volunteer and Support Charities:

No possessions will make you happier than a kid asking you to tie their shoes or for a hug. Neighbors needing a hand with a project. Welcoming people. Doing grunt work at a volunteer event. Helping people move. Can’t pick up as much, but gotten better at packing. Always a contribution you can do.

3. Be Grateful:

What went right today? Who said hi? Write it down or review them going to bed. Most of us focus on our few mistakes or challenging people. Happy people look for good moments to savor and smile more.

4. Spend much less than you make:

You don’t need everything you want. You need peace of mind. Avoid impulse buys. When you get raises, increase how much you put into retirement or emergency funds. You will eventually need them.

5. Learn new skills: 

Be horrible at first, and work hard to be bad at it. Fail often. Became a writer because writing terrible first drafts, then edit & edit some more. Not because I was a natural. Still can’t spell nor type well. We get better.

6. Travel to see people or new places:

Go to parties. Smile. Meet new people. Vacation somewhere new. Attend weddings and funerals. Always make the funeral.

7. Politics are not important to your life. Turn off the news to be happier:

Most news is sensationalistic opinions to make you emotional. Neither President Trump nor Clinton would change my day today. (Voted 3rd party).

What makes you happy? Do it.

8. Be very kind. People do not want to be corrected, lectured, nor feel guilty:

If you try, you will become people they and I run from. No one needs negativity. People need to be understood. Besides we are all wrong more than we care to admit.

9. Hire people to do what you can’t:

See your doctor for physicals and illnesses above the common cold. Learn from a therapist how to cope better. Recommend the good service pros to people. Do what you are good at.

10. God Loves You:

He wants you to have a relationship with Him. Not scold you for your failings. He knows, forgives and loves you unconditionally. Be open and God will be revealed to you.

This one makes it easier to do 1 – 9. The stress goes away.

Holiday Expectations

Everyone has expectations for the holidays. From the simple “Santa’s coming” of the youngest to parents expecting adult children to come home to celebrate. All have expectations of the season.

A lot of these are expectations are unspoken. Worse, the other people don’t have your expectations. We are on a path for conflict.

Times change. Parents retire and their gifts shrink. Family members have health issues. Children become adults, date, get married, and have children of their own. They may have moved to work. Now they can’t all be together for the holiday itself.

Often families get together and act the way we did when growing up. Your relationships with siblings and parents fall back into habits, good or bad. Were you the rebellious child? The goody two shoes? The attention seeker? Second parent to a younger sibling? Until significant events happen, the family dynamic often doesn’t recognize the changes in your life. You have grown up!

What to do when this happens? Be nice.

They don’t mean to harm you. It may feel personal, but it is not. There is nothing wrong with sitting around with comfort food and old movies. It is okay to hear old stories again, because that is what you will tell your children about their grandparents, uncles and aunts. Everyone wants to know where they came from.

Things don’t go as planned. My wife and I were to vacation together. She got a last minute job interview in the middle of it. Changing flights 3 days before hand would cost $650 in the last few days before Christmas. Not worth it to either of us for what would become a long weekend for her.  Maybe she will enjoy the break from living with me. I will still enjoy warm weather.

Preparations were thrown astray this year. Last minute dental work and recovery time for me meant not putting up lights and decorations, not to mention shopping. This blog was not written on schedule last week, but done on vacation. After a long day helping my nephew rehab my sister’s trailer. It’s life.

Someone says the wrong thing. Your favorite comfort food is missing. Someone drinks too much eggnog. Decorations are missing. A loved one is not with you this year. It’s not only okay to miss it/them, it’s normal. Keep calm and carry on. What you and everyone needs are space, grace and patience.

Wishing everyone very happy holidays, rambunctious children, family and friends to celebrate the good things in life with. Blessings all.

Everyday Gratitude

Thanksgiving is not the only day we should be grateful.

Every day we have family, friends, co-workers and businesses who serve us. Yes they can annoy, irritate and frustrate us. But they care for us.

Priests, Ministers, and people guide us toward spirituality and faith.

Abundant food, not subsistence farming. The biggest problem is being overweight, not starvation.

Modern miracles of medicine cure illnesses, cancers, and diseases that shortened the lives in the past.

Physical Therapists and Chiropractors help our bodies recover.

Transportation where products from all over the world are available, and we can go anywhere.

Volunteers serve charities all over the world giving their time and unpaid efforts.

Think every morning what are you grateful?

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.

Happy Independence Day

My neighbors are blowing off fireworks in every direction. (Surround sound?) The Seattle fireworks were over Union Lake and broadcast to music. 

Hope your family and friends are around you having a Happy 4th of July.

Gratitude

Thanksgiving is a favorite holiday and only a small part is the eating. What it is we count blessings and good people in our lives. Think about what went right and who supported you. Keep looking for it and you will find more. Family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and more.

Even after the year’s disasters, you can see all those who volunteer and give to help others. The US is often criticized for not doing enough, but the American people are the ones that give the most.

Gratitude is the way to stay happy despite traffic, food that doesn’t turn out, people who voted differently than you, and diets ruined for a day. Actually it puts you closer to your faith.

Happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy your day.

PS - really enjoy the eating and nap in front of the football game too J