We Are Too Hard On Ourselves

Who hasn’t been afraid we make a fool of ourselves in public. Sure the people we talked with were bored or think we are foolish. (foolish and human here)

We analyze and criticize every mistake we make during the day. If you play sports, you replay the bad plays instead of your highlights.

Do you remember the nice things you said on social media? No you remember the criticisms or insults.

Time published “People Like You More Than You Think” about published research in Psychological Science. We underestimate how much the other person likes us. Everyone does this, especially if we are shy.

The tendency is to substitute our feelings about we said because we can’t know what the other person thinks. We assume they think (like us) that we made a bad first impression. That is not true, and people will give us several chances in future meeting.

The penalty for being so negative is anxiety, sadness and even depression. We may avoid social encounters that could be enjoyable being hard on ourselves.

The secret is listening to other people, asking questions about them, and be present in the moment. When we focus on others, it quiets the critical voice in our mind. Find most people are good and kind. Go enjoy your day.

http://time.com/5396598/good-first-impression/