Would You Want Your Life Judged on Being a Teenager?

First of all I believe Christine Blasey Ford was involved in an incident. The Me Too movement and too many women I love and respect shows our culture allowed it.

Being a teenager was a time where we are growing, being awkward, learning and making mistakes. Said the wrong thing, kissed the wrong people, and did things we regret later. Know would not want to be judged solely on any one of my mistakes. Especially the ones that show up in my nightmares.

But I am 61 and comfortable in my skin. Have worked hard, paid taxes, mentored people, volunteered and enjoyed life. Know am a good man. The mistakes I made I learned from. This is how good judgment is formed.

Christine Blasey Ford has created a tremendous career, family and community service. Judge Brett Kavanaugh has created a a tremendous career, family and community service. They are both in their 50s. Neither should be judged from one incident without looking at their overall lives.

Unrealistic Expectations

“I want that woman’s life. 

            Whose life is that?

The one in my social media.” 

- Between Friends comic

Don’t create perfection expectations on yourself. We all say the wrong thing. Drop food we are cooking. Make investment mistakes. Lose things. Oversleep in the morning. 

A study shows American, Canadian & British college students are suffering from “multidimensional perfectionism”, setting unrealistically high expectations and being hurt when they fall short. Today’s students aren’t the first to fall short.

Didn’t you dream of being a millionaire? Being famous. Getting that promotion. Having your own business? Marrying the perfect spouse? Perfect kids?

Last I checked kids are kids. We get sick now and then. Companies have layoffs. And we fail. More often than I care to admit.

Give yourself credit for making mistakes. It is how we learn. Besides you are excluding all the things you have done right. Think of the people you helped. We are proud of you.

How to Handle Bullies

School starting reminds me of what I learned in 8^thgrade, how to handle bullies. Afraid it was common then and still common today. 2 incidences formed my reaction when encountering these behaviors.

End of 7^thgrade was only 5’1”, 80 pounds and among the youngest in class. My growth spurt started and grew 3 inches over the summer. (Total 9 inches in 1.5 years) 

Start of class walked up to a group of boys. One said, “Amos is here.” The shortest guy in the group said, “Let’s pick on him” and turned around. First he looked down where I was before summer, and then looked up to where I now stood over him. He walked away embarrassed while we all laughed. 

Dawned on me bullies only want an easy target. They don’t want you to fight back. Resolved to never be an easy victim, even though quiet and shy.

Few days later that resolve was tested. Walking down the hall carrying books a younger boy my size slammed my shoulder spinning me. Reached behind me and caught my books before they fell, then looked at him and his friend walking away. “He did that on purpose.” I was mad.

Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedules were different than Tuesday-Thursday, so it was next Tuesday before he and his friend were coming down the hallway. Switched my books to my right hand and pretended to be distracted looking away. An ideal looking target. When he was inches away paused my walk and kept both feet on ground with back leg bracing me. He stepped into my path and swung his shoulder, only to bounce off backwards off my shoulder. This time he spun around and looked at me walking calmly away.

A few days later saw him and his friend again. This time he saw me looking directly at him. Even walked into the middle of the hallway forcing him to walk around me. Never saw him or his friend again, suspect they picked different hallways.

The lesson is bullies don’t respond to normal give and take. Try to placate them, they will take more advantage of you. You have to find a strategy to throw them off. I interrupted their challenges with jokes. Offered to fight which they really didn’t want. They wanted easy. I wasn’t. Stand up for myself and others. Bullies may surprise me first time, but they get notice next time they try.

If you are experiencing a bully, read Sam Horn’s “Take the Bully by the Horns”. She dives deep into the psyche and has strategies to neutralize bullies. 1-3% of people have psychopathic traits or behaviors. It is a good skill to have. 

You are worth standing up for.

Labor Day Thoughts

The late Sen. John McCain never forgot the soldier or average person in his career. Let us not forget our neighbors working in factories, warehouses, retail and services. 40% of working people do not make enough to live comfortably. They struggle to pay rent, groceries, healthcare or utilities. Any unexpected expenses or hardship derails being able to pay bills. Even though unemployment is down, food insecurity is on the rise.

Why? Middle-wage workers’ hourly wage is only up 6% since 1979. Low-wage workers’ wages are down 5%.  Outsourcing, the rise of a global workforce, and shrinking unionization has weakened the power to ask for raises. 

Education, housing and medical care have all gone way up. Fewer jobs offer stable hours or health insurance creating no safety net. Imagine you are on disability raising a teenager like my childhood friend.  My sister, trying to get disability for 3 years, lives on half of what he makes.  Hard to make your money last till the end of the month on so little.

All governments are in too much debt now to be able to do more. They need businesses growing their economy. Inflation needs to continue to rise, so governments get out of their overspending and over promising. However inflation hurts people on fixed income.  There are no easy ‘tax the rich’ solutions. Hard choices have to be made to cut spending and raise taxes.

Middle-wage workers may save some, but mostly rely on Social Security to retire.  Low-wage workers are completely dependent on Social Security. Yet healthcare costs are taking more every year, and your spouse being ill or dying can bankrupt you.

Was taught there are no unimportant jobs growing up. Everything has to be done by someone to contribute to success. Everyone is important. 

What can we do to care for family, friends and neighbors? $15 per hour minimum wages? Health care for all? Guaranteed work for all? Mental health treatment for all? We need ideas and we need action. Take some time this weekend to think how we can help.

Working Special Projects

There are good and bad risks to special projects. The project may be a major source of new income to your company. You may get recognized and promoted for your contribution.

The downside, not doing regular work (paying bills today) you become expendable. If your business slows down you can be laid off.

Recommend you take special projects in spite of the risks. Skills and leadership are developed by trying something new. Gain experience coming up with plans, solutions and overcoming issues.

Choose yourself to do something special.

Lower Overhead

Do you work in an open office? I do. 

Moved from a partial cubical row with tall walls between rows and overhead storage to a small room with low walls. More audio and visual interruptions / distractions. Less productivity per employee.

Less personal and less storage. Lets be honest, engineers love having samples in our cabinets. Lets us look at the designs we are trying to improve. Room for pictures, calendars and personal items so office felt like home. Now minimized, have 5 drawers in roll around cabinets.

Why are businesses going to open offices if not for productivity? Less floor space per employee equals less cost. 

The average office space per employee has shrunk from 225 sq. ft. in 2010 to 150 sq. ft. in 2017. Saving 75 sq. ft. times $50 annual building cost per sq. ft. times 500 employees would save $1,875,000 per year.  That is a lot of savings for any company. [Credit Erik Rood for analysis]

The easiest way to improve business results is to lower overhead costs, especially real estate costs. Cost reduction is easier than getting more customers, expanding profit margins per sale, or improving productivity. 

Our job is to be productive no matter our workspace. What works for you? Library rules, noise canceling headphones, more email / messaging, or more meetings to discuss projects. 

https://www.fastcompany.com/90220029/the-real-reason-your-company-switched-to-an-open-plan-office?utm_source=postup&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Fast%20Company%20Daily&position=3&partner=newsletter&campaign_date=08172018

Drive Fast, Take Chances

Not what we wish people. “Take Care”, “Drive Safe”, “Safe Travels”, or “Have a Safe Trip” is how we wish loved ones goodbye. 

Not Lenny Aniello. An iconoclast, beard, ponytail, Yale grad, and probably underdressed. Son of a business owner, he owned his programming business back when no one understood computers nor heard of Arpanet or AOL. 

His customers were often the insurance companies, home of preppy dress codes, standardized cubical wall heights, and formal rules. Lenny knew they wanted his skills. Those days he could make a mini computer act like a mainframe. He would show up on a motorcycle wearing leathers at business meetings. The meetings usually went well.

Lenny knew the interesting conversations weren’t boring. Errors are how you learn. Side roads are where some of your best memories are found. Technology is developed by trial and error. It is needed today, not tomorrow. Nothing is accomplished without someone taking a risk. 

Lenny wanted the best for his kids and friends. He pushed us to be better. Go be uncomfortable. Fail now and then. Laugh about it. 

Hope made Lenny proud - taking work in 7 states, owning 2 businesses, writing books, public speaking, still playing volleyball, and always learning.

The safe way is not how you get ahead. Drive Fast, Take Chances.

What is Feeding You?

Reading bad news? Scary opinion pieces? How the world is going downhill fast? Jobs will go away. Young people are not the same. Politics are horrible.

Not True.

Technology improves our lives. Health care is curing and preventing diseases. Research gets deeper understanding our world. Engineering is more accurate. Safety improves every year.

Why? Hard Work.

We feed the whole world using less land. ~1.1 billion people have moved out of extreme poverty since 1990. Extreme poverty worldwide is down from 35% (1990) to 10.7% (2017). Total giving to charitable organizations was $410.02 billion in 2017.

Problems and challenges never go away, but we improve lives daily. Join us changing the world, one task at a time.

Wisdom Does Not Always Come with Age

Vouch for that on my many faux pas. The Journals of Gerontology: Psychological Sciences study states “wisdom seems to be rare among any age group.” 

That may be part of ‘Thinking Fast & Slow’ by Daniel Kahneman where he talks how our mind has multiple operating systems. We prefer System 1 which makes snap decisions and uses little energy. System 2 does the deep thinking requiring much more effort. We need to spend more time in system 2.

Yes, learning comes from handling data, adding context, making choices and observing results. Hopefully that builds insight and judgments we can use.

However do not see wisdom without understanding and compassion of people different than us. Other people have different experiences and options than us. Listening and understanding are the beginning of wisdom. Beyond that caring for others is where we develop our wisdom.

My faith requires me to be better than I am. Do that best I can, fail, and try again with the Lord’s help. Don’t be afraid to try caring.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/wisdom-doesnt-always-come-with-age-2018-06-08

Greatness is Not Glory

Nike’s finest ad challenges what we think the greatness is. First thing we think of is famous athletes, or superstars. After all this is Nike. Not so.

It is not the accomplishments that are the greatness. It activity, starting, trying again, the days we talk ourselves into it, those we don’t and starting again.

Greatness is not in a few. Greatness is in All of Us.

Start with greatness today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkNMulA1SEI