How to Handle Bullies

School starting reminds me of what I learned in 8^thgrade, how to handle bullies. Afraid it was common then and still common today. 2 incidences formed my reaction when encountering these behaviors.

End of 7^thgrade was only 5’1”, 80 pounds and among the youngest in class. My growth spurt started and grew 3 inches over the summer. (Total 9 inches in 1.5 years) 

Start of class walked up to a group of boys. One said, “Amos is here.” The shortest guy in the group said, “Let’s pick on him” and turned around. First he looked down where I was before summer, and then looked up to where I now stood over him. He walked away embarrassed while we all laughed. 

Dawned on me bullies only want an easy target. They don’t want you to fight back. Resolved to never be an easy victim, even though quiet and shy.

Few days later that resolve was tested. Walking down the hall carrying books a younger boy my size slammed my shoulder spinning me. Reached behind me and caught my books before they fell, then looked at him and his friend walking away. “He did that on purpose.” I was mad.

Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedules were different than Tuesday-Thursday, so it was next Tuesday before he and his friend were coming down the hallway. Switched my books to my right hand and pretended to be distracted looking away. An ideal looking target. When he was inches away paused my walk and kept both feet on ground with back leg bracing me. He stepped into my path and swung his shoulder, only to bounce off backwards off my shoulder. This time he spun around and looked at me walking calmly away.

A few days later saw him and his friend again. This time he saw me looking directly at him. Even walked into the middle of the hallway forcing him to walk around me. Never saw him or his friend again, suspect they picked different hallways.

The lesson is bullies don’t respond to normal give and take. Try to placate them, they will take more advantage of you. You have to find a strategy to throw them off. I interrupted their challenges with jokes. Offered to fight which they really didn’t want. They wanted easy. I wasn’t. Stand up for myself and others. Bullies may surprise me first time, but they get notice next time they try.

If you are experiencing a bully, read Sam Horn’s “Take the Bully by the Horns”. She dives deep into the psyche and has strategies to neutralize bullies. 1-3% of people have psychopathic traits or behaviors. It is a good skill to have. 

You are worth standing up for.