Being Heard at Work

Recently read about a young professional not being able to get a word in edgewise in a meeting. It is uncomfortable not being heard, but their experience is not unique. With 38 years’ experience, and being (formerly) shy introvert in an extroverted world have suggestions to be heard:

• Ask questions first. Then when you have the floor, make a point. Actually got compliments for participation during different meetings where I only asked one question.
• Being able to project your voice is an asset. Look into Toastmasters to be able to present to a room. I start talking to the person furthest away to get my volume right.
• I had a baby face (could pass for high school till almost 30) and had to dress one level up to be taken seriously. Casual Fridays are still a weakness.
• Attitude makes a difference. EXPECT to be heard and taken seriously. Sit at the table and take up space in the meeting room. Make small talk with people before and after the meetings.

Should add interrupting with a firm “Yo!’” has worked on occasion for me.  Recommend reading Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking”

Try and use whichever tips works for you. It is only a matter of time before you will be a full team member.

Mom’s Pinto Wagon

Difficult for Profession Women to get the Respect they Deserve. Martin Schneider shared an inbox with Nicole and was getting grief working with a customer. He could not understand the customer’s resistance. He had worked with him before.  Yet everything he was suggesting was being resisted. Due to the common inbox, he had been signing his responses as Nicole.

Finally, he replied: “Hey this is Martin”, and the customer worked well with him after that.

Nicole & Martin switched names for a week. Everything Martin did took longer. Nicole had the most productive week of her life. Men are assumed to be competent. Women have to prove it.

My late mom was one of the first 3 women to attend Newark College of Engineering (now NJIT). She rarely talked about some of her treatment, but she also knew how to handle it.

Her used 1 year old Pinto wagon with only 11,000 miles was shifting off time. Dad and I both drove it and thought the transmission bands needed adjustment. However he was busy at work and I was on 3^rd shift that week on my summer job (about 40 years ago). So she took it to the dealer.

The service rep thought he ‘had one on the line’. So he kept talking until he said she needed a new transmission instead of an adjustment. Mom walked away from him into the sales area to talk to the manager (in front other customers) and in a LOUD voice said, “John, it looks like you sold me a lemon. What are you going to do about it?”

When they tried to tell her this was normal, she said, “No, I am an engineer. Could see my son’s Ford wagon with 110,000 miles needing a transmission. Not a car with 11,000 miles.”

When they further tried to push the issue, she replied, “John, I own 5 cars. Do you want to take me for a repair, or get the next car?” They gave in and adjusted it. Every time she brought it in for service she got treated with respect after that.

Follow up - car was rusted falling apart years later with 140,000 miles and Dad driving it. The original transmission had no problems or further adjustments when they retired it.

Dad knew how to handle these situations. At a different dealer they were shopping for a car for Mom. Dad said to the salesperson this car is for Mom, get her what she wants. The man kept asking Dad questions. Dad would repeat his question to Mom and wait for her to answer. Finally the guy got the message, and talked to her.

Lesson: Expect and give respect. Do what is right. Ask questions, follow with suggestions. If it takes time, stay with it.

Here is Martin’s story

https://twitter.com/i/moments/839950218099576832

Grateful he shared this story.

  

Joining a New Community

Times when you move or just want to join a new group, it feels awkward. Like when we were teenagers nervously talking in front of a group, feeling like our hands and feet are too big and no idea what to do with them. What do you do?

First of all, Relax. Everyone is nervous meeting new people. Especially when you know no one.

Look around the space when you enter. What is where and are there signs? Make yourself comfortable.

Smile at people and greet them. They have to get use to you too. Helps if you can relax them too.

Concentrate on hearing their names. Try and use names as soon if you can. Will help you learn who people are.

Realistically no one is going to fall in love at first sight. Don’t expect to meet life long friends on your first visit. Have reasonable expectations and be present and enjoy a little.

Other tips:

Help out where you can.

Act like a host. Introduce yourself and others.

Plan to come back again. Take time to let other recognize and meet you.

Moving is hard, every time is has taken me a year and a half to feel at home or at least know where am going. Friends can take longer. Give yourself time to find where you fit in.

  

Fix Your Job Hunt

(Do you really want a job?)

Job Hunting is Frustrating and Very Stressful. You no longer have the income that you depended on. Bills are piling up and savings going down. Your social standing may be lower with strangers. You miss your old friendly coworkers who greeted and talked with you daily. We depend on social interaction to live.  We want our old life back.

We need to adjust our attitude to get our next job. This is only a trip to our next life. Not insurmountable. A phase to get through. Assume you will get a job. Then job hunting will be less stressful.

That is right, assume you grow through this experience. You will be a better person, more humble and more human after starting a new position. You will help other job hunters because you understand.

We don’t know how long it will take to get another job. We just know you will find one. You may have to move. You may have less stuff. But we, who have been unemployed before, found new work. You will too.

Now you know you will find work. What steps to prepare should you do?

1. Write down a list of your successes at work and in school. Does not matter if anyone else thinks they are a success. You do. Write them out.
2. What compliments did you receive? People have told you what you are good at. Don’t discount small compliments. What you find easy to do are your gifts.
3. What assignments or parts of your jobs did you enjoy? What tasks or skills do you want to do on your new job?

 Your strengths, gifts and experiences will help you excel at your career. Don’t skip this step of understanding yourself. Most people think they can do any job. But you get hired for the job you do well. The more focused you are, the faster you go back to work.

Assume you will succeed, put in effort, cultivate a positive attitude, and you will succeed.