Developing Soft Skills

Businesses love to talk about the best leaders have soft skills. In short they work well with people to get the most out of their teams. They are often very respected and productive workers as well.

Starting out, how do you get soft skills? Where does this reputation come from? What soft skills would you like to have?

First, most people’s reactions are not about you. They think about what affects them. So do you, but you don’t think about that. When someone is losing their cool in front of you, wait until they calm down enough to talk with. Then ask questions.

The person who listens more attentively learns the most. Don’t think about what to say next when someone else is talking. What are they saying, and what is behind it? Often the most important part of the message is not said. It comes through their attitude and phasing. Ask questions about what they are saying to keep them talking.

Was very shy as a young man. Talking with young women threw me. I literally had to practice talking with people. To be less nervous, would talk with people who I did not know and could probably not help me. Often would talk with any woman of any age about any topic. When I met attractive women of datable ages, was no longer tongue-tied.

If you really want to excel with soft skills, CARE about people around you. Get your own ego out of the way. You can learn something from everyone, and you can help more people than you think. Praise people every time you see something you like. “They won’t remember what you said. They won’t forget how you made them feel.”

Study Servant Leadership. John Maxwell is my favorite author on this subject. Leaders aren’t there to make every decision. They enable their teammates to do more tasks better, and even excel at them.

I care about your success. Otherwise would I spend the time to write this? Start trying to listen to and praise people now. Does not matter how awkward it feels at first. You will start making their day and your day.

“If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles, you would not be able to sit down for six months.” - Unknown

Get Better Idea 1 - Responsible

Being responsible for your actions. You eliminate denial and go straight to learning. Then we improve our life and the lives around us.

Leaders and Parents take responsibly for people around them. You are responsible.

Where the Hell is Matt?

Just saw Matt Harding’s inspiring 2012 video. He traveled around the world in 2003 doing his little ‘bad’ dance in front of iconic backdrops. Posted it on his blog to share. Kept it up and he talked people in joining him dancing.

Finally he had his moment when he danced with some kids and realized he had been doing it wrong.

Dance with other people. It is not the scenery, it is the people that make this video special. That and Matt’s gift of enjoying people from everywhere. True ambassador to the world.

Watch Matt’s video. Figure out how to invite more people to join you in whatever your calling is. Together we can solve anything.

You can see Matt is much more than a bad dancer. Look at the joy he brings to strangers. The world is a closer place thanks to Matt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwe-pA6TaZk

Men's Night

My church is very active. With lots of different groups supporting charities, school and church activities & events. Last night the church held a 2^nd Men’s night at Rob’s garage and driveway.

What was different about Men’s night? No purpose other than getting to know other men you did not know before. No fund raising. Bringing food was optional. The pulled pork and beer was already donated (Thanks Knights of Columbus).

Saw men I knew from my small group, K of C, and weekly coffee and donuts. Met a three nice men much younger, two older members, and we had more than two dozen around Rob’s $24 bar and brewing equipment.

Stories, quips, snarky comments and the occasional joke were told. We ate together, choose from 9 beers by Sean & Rob’s future micro brewery, and generally acted like men.

Father Brad was there with humor in fine form. Joked we were going to do 20 rosaries “on our knees” for the evening. Most of us would not get up after 1 rosary from our knees without help. He just held a short prayer before food was served.

There was no planned activity. What was accomplished on a nice spring evening? The community was strengthened. New people welcomed. Experiences were shared. Advice given. Deeper knowing of each other. Bonding. You become known to others and a resource for the future.

How are you planning build connections in your business? Take time to build people up, and expand their networks. When needs come up, you have a real team.

For example the storm took out the power the day of the St Patrick’s dinner. The volunteers at church cooked by flashlight. Dinner had candles. About 60% of the expected parishioner’s showed up. Everyone was fed. Funds were raised. The team rose to the challenge.

Build people up and build teams. For work, charity and life.