10 ‘Life is Hard’ Truths

You can have a good, enjoyable life. Even though life is hard we smile. Here are hard earned truths about life after 60 years of trials & errors.

1. Relationships & love are more important than wealth and fame:

Family and friends have helped me though job losses, bankruptcy, relocations, illnesses, grief, and breakups. Plus celebrated my successes. Be Kind. Listen when someone is having a bad day. (You don’t need to solve it.) Celebrate their successes. Eat together even if vegan. Have stopped at McDonald’s later, and enjoyed strange new meals with friends.

2. Help Others, Volunteer and Support Charities:

No possessions will make you happier than a kid asking you to tie their shoes or for a hug. Neighbors needing a hand with a project. Welcoming people. Doing grunt work at a volunteer event. Helping people move. Can’t pick up as much, but gotten better at packing. Always a contribution you can do.

3. Be Grateful:

What went right today? Who said hi? Write it down or review them going to bed. Most of us focus on our few mistakes or challenging people. Happy people look for good moments to savor and smile more.

4. Spend much less than you make:

You don’t need everything you want. You need peace of mind. Avoid impulse buys. When you get raises, increase how much you put into retirement or emergency funds. You will eventually need them.

5. Learn new skills: 

Be horrible at first, and work hard to be bad at it. Fail often. Became a writer because writing terrible first drafts, then edit & edit some more. Not because I was a natural. Still can’t spell nor type well. We get better.

6. Travel to see people or new places:

Go to parties. Smile. Meet new people. Vacation somewhere new. Attend weddings and funerals. Always make the funeral.

7. Politics are not important to your life. Turn off the news to be happier:

Most news is sensationalistic opinions to make you emotional. Neither President Trump nor Clinton would change my day today. (Voted 3rd party).

What makes you happy? Do it.

8. Be very kind. People do not want to be corrected, lectured, nor feel guilty:

If you try, you will become people they and I run from. No one needs negativity. People need to be understood. Besides we are all wrong more than we care to admit.

9. Hire people to do what you can’t:

See your doctor for physicals and illnesses above the common cold. Learn from a therapist how to cope better. Recommend the good service pros to people. Do what you are good at.

10. God Loves You:

He wants you to have a relationship with Him. Not scold you for your failings. He knows, forgives and loves you unconditionally. Be open and God will be revealed to you.

This one makes it easier to do 1 – 9. The stress goes away.

Joining a New Community

Times when you move or just want to join a new group, it feels awkward. Like when we were teenagers nervously talking in front of a group, feeling like our hands and feet are too big and no idea what to do with them. What do you do?

First of all, Relax. Everyone is nervous meeting new people. Especially when you know no one.

Look around the space when you enter. What is where and are there signs? Make yourself comfortable.

Smile at people and greet them. They have to get use to you too. Helps if you can relax them too.

Concentrate on hearing their names. Try and use names as soon if you can. Will help you learn who people are.

Realistically no one is going to fall in love at first sight. Don’t expect to meet life long friends on your first visit. Have reasonable expectations and be present and enjoy a little.

Other tips:

Help out where you can.

Act like a host. Introduce yourself and others.

Plan to come back again. Take time to let other recognize and meet you.

Moving is hard, every time is has taken me a year and a half to feel at home or at least know where am going. Friends can take longer. Give yourself time to find where you fit in.