May 4, 2019

Nobody Fits, Everyone Belongs

We have to stop blaming smart phones. Loneliness is epidemic. Depression and anxiety disorders increased by 54% and 42% between 1990 and 2013 per WHO. Drug overdoses and addictions increasing for 16 years per CDC.  Suicides are happening across all ages, sexes, and races. Middle age men 45-54 have the highest suicide rate, followed by senior men over 85. 

Personality and Social Psychology Review shows empathy in college students fell 48% between 1979 and 2009. See the numbers of youth joining violent or extremist movements.

Bowling Alone” by Robert D. Putnam (2000) shows data with affects of isolation. People no longer have traditional support from family and society. Urbanization is one factor as more people move to cities for work. Another is business people trying to out work each other to get ahead.

Our culture needs to change. It starts with us. We need to choose happiness.

Greet People and Welcome Strangers
Kids have been told not to talk to strangers. Bad advice. Everyone is a stranger until you meet them. New employees need to be introduced and guided to succeed. Does not happen overnight, but you get to know more people over time and belong.

Actively Join Groups 
Don’t just attend events. Show up early and help setup. Stay late and clean up. Find people who look lost and guide them. Volunteer to organize. Grows you personally and career wise.

Help People
Nothing gets us out of our own head and troubles. Whether helping neighbors, kids, elderly, schools, or homeless, you focus on someone else. Simple as holding doors, carrying items, weeding or shoveling snow. Red Cross, Scouting, Coaching, Job Networks, Habitat for Humanity, Salvation Army and more charities need volunteers. Your opportunities are unlimited.

Forgive People for Disagreeing
Opposing political groups previously expressed frustration with each other, now express fear and anger. Anger has been associated with loss of status. (World Economic Forum 2019 Global Risk Report) Family and friends are still good people if they support different candidates or ideas. Participated in events at different churches, temples and synagogues. We have more in common than differences.

Go Worship Regularly
Don’t only be spiritual at home. Go join communities of faith and attend more activities than services. Knowing you are not alone in suffering and having fears helps us through challenges. Stopped going in 20s and returned at 40. Rejoining the Catholic community has made it easier to survive my challenges in life. Biggest joys have come from rejoining.

Don’t know why or where to start, join an Alpha session. AlphaUSA.org is international, interdenominational, and a place where people ask the hard questions of life. Enjoyed my Alpha and now host tables at my Catholic Parish. Do not have all life’s answers, just have people to ask my questions. (BTW churches are not buildings, but communities)

The benefits changing our culture and welcoming people are productivity, lower stress, less addition, fewer suicides, and less violent crimes. No downsides to living a better life.

“Our ability to reach unity in diversity will be the beauty and the test of our civilisation.” ―Mahatma Gandhi


The Global Risks Report 2019

Decline in Human Empathy Creates Global Risks in the 'Age of Anger'


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